Handling Rage

Dr Swati Bhave’s is a serious attempt at dealing with managing anger issues, say ADELINE BERTIN and CAROLE DIETERICH

It’s easy to read, and the cartoons as well as the A to Z format make it simple enough. But to actually use this handbook is not that effortless — because it about managing anger. Anger Management by Sunil Saini and Swati Y Bhave, executive director of the Association of Adolescent Child Care in India and coordinator of development for the International Pediatric Association, does provide very useful tips intended to help people deal with anger issues.

For instance, they point out that it’s much easier to admit to being angry and discuss the causes, rather than letting rage get out of control, particularly with one’s kids. “Be nice to your kids and they will be nice to you and everyone else. Remember your own childhood when dealing with children […] and be more forgiving,” she points out sagely.

For the authors, modern life is a constant competition in which individuals try to get the best in everything. She defines anger as an emotional response when faced with an obstruction in reaching one’s target. But in this striving for success, people forget to be happy. “Parents teach children lots of skills, they spend a lot of money because they want them to be talented. But none of them really bother about their happiness.”

In fact, what people need is to learn how to cope with the negative aspects of anger, emotional aggression (hostility, bitterness); verbal aggression (criticism, jealousy); and physical aggression (assault, domestic violence). “Anger should not be expressed in a destructive manner but in a constructive one: this is anger management,” they point out.

What if you’re in at work and a rage situation develops? “If you are in a meeting and feel that anger is building up, take a break that will […] help you to calm down. Take a cup of coffee/tea, have a snack, as often since hunger triggers anger.”

Most important, however, is the point that anger affects the angry person deeply — and usually adversely so. “An acute episode of anger can precipitate a heart attack or brain stroke and even lead to death,” say Bhave and Saini. In addition, there is a release of adrenaline, which results in shortness of breath, flushing of skin or muscle rigidity.

But if you feel an anger attack coming on and no other techniques are working, here are the top three quick tips to deal with it without serious emotional or physical harm: physical activity, diverting attention or deep breaths while counting to a hundred. Yes, the grandmotherly advice may not have been unscientific, after all.